Life is not always pretty and perfect and filled with fluffy, lovey easiness. Friends move away. Loved ones get sick. Grandparents grow old. People disappoint. Sometimes life changes in sucky, sucky ways.
My verbiage is profound, I know.
We can’t fix everything. Sometimes we just have to live with things the way they are because guess what? Sometimes things are out of our control. Sorry.
But here’s the deal. Here is the hope. Humans are cool. We are resilient. Most of all, we are brave. We are driven by love and anger, pleasure, health, wealth, pain, sickness and possibility. Shoot, we are driven by that ancient steadfast promise of a sunrise with each new day.
Folks, we have cures for some horrifying diseases out there. We have committed marriages, and lifelong friendships and we have devoted parents raising good little people who will make the world a better place. We have music and art and literature. We have homegrown gardens and PhD programs. We have electricity, indoor plumbing and airplanes that fly across the globe every single day. We have clothing for goodness sake.
If mankind were not driven by circumstances that are out of his or her control, we would not have any of these seemingly fundamental treasures of the human experience in our world today. If we were not plagued with the nuisance of heartache or filled with the mysterious elation that only love can offer up, there would be no music, no written words, no passion and quite possibly no human existence on our planet at all. Period. I believe this.
Yeah. This post just got deep.
My friends, we are from tip to toe out of control when it comes to a vast majority of the happenings in our existence. I know. It’s hard to take comfort in that reality. It hurts. It pisses us off. And it scares us.
For many of us, it’s our motivation to work incredibly hard to gain some shred of something (anything, really) that seems like control over our destiny, if only just a smidgeon. And as the result, we often times do find ways to grasp a bit more control in our lives. Sometimes we get busy in our faith. We tune in, lean in and open up to God. We change our path. Other times we focus on investing more energy into the things and places and people we love. Sometimes we go to work and build and sweat and suffer and educate our way to ingenuity. Our inability to manage the fleeting moments of funk in our lives sometimes pushes us into new realms of beauty and change, change that makes us new in certain ways and whole in other ways. Sometimes good change happens in our hearts, in spite of tragedy. Sometimes good change happens, in spite of the scars left behind from uncontrollable life circumstance. On occasion, rogue happenings in our life end up feeding our spirit in ways we’ve never known.
I received bad news yesterday. The kind of news that I have absolutely no control over whatsoever. It’s the kind of news that makes one reflective and woeful, grateful and broken all at the same time. I realize those are a strange combination of emotions, but they are ones we cannot escape when we love someone deeply and we find out their time here on earth is quickly coming to an end.
I came home last night and I thought about my sister who recently went through a rough time with her own physical health and how much she is improving (albeit slowly) each day. I allowed myself to take a sigh of relief in knowing that she is doing well and getting stronger. I meditated on just how blessed we are to have her and her new baby in our lives. She is pushing forward and getting well. This realization brought me comfort. It reminded me that even when things are out of our control, they often times improve on their own. She is proof of that right now. I counted her situation as a blessing last night – something I couldn’t have foreseen several weeks ago. It picked my spirit up greatly.
A little later in the evening, I smiled as I thought about my broody hen. I was frightened because I had not seen her all day. Granted, she’s just chicken, but I’ve grown to know her, to enjoy her eggs and to find entertainment in her presence. My friend and I discovered her hidden in top level of the turkey coop yesterday, roosting on a massive pile of eggs. Realizing that my favorite big, fat broody hen will soon hatch some teensy baby chirpers serves as a reminder that I’m living out one of my lifelong dreams here on the homestead. Again, this moment picked up my spirit.
I sat with my adoring husband last night before bed and he comforted me. We munched on fresh, homemade farmer’s cheese that my friend and I prepared yesterday. We topped it with fig preserves I canned straight from the backyard several weeks ago. My sweet hunk told me he missed me while he was at work and it warmed my heart to the core. That man and his faithful love, in a world of uncertainty is a blessing to me. Again, my spirit soothed.
These are the moments, the observations, the bits and pieces of reality that cradle my fears of the unknown, that open me up to accepting what I cannot change. They are a few of the many healing blessings I can embrace each day in my present life.
My friends count your blessings daily – no matter how large or small they may seem. They are the answers, the tidbits to lean on in the times of life’s uncertainties.