Mayo-Nayo-Naaaise!

OH. MY. HEAVENLY. DAYS.  Homemade MAYO-NAYO-NAAAAiSE!  IT is the absolute frrrreaaking BOMB.  Thanks a million friends for NEVER TELLING ME about this!  Especially because I’ve polled 5 friends & 3 out of the 5 make a similar recipe on a regular basis!  How am I only just now figuring this out? And why is it such a secret for crying out loud?
So this winter I’ve been devoted to cutting the budget on our monthly grocery bill.  I’ve been stocking the pantry & trying to make more from scratch – experimenting with new homemade bread recipes, flour tortillas, spice concoctions & brews, etc. etc.  Some of these experiments have been a success & some have been failures.  Some are still works in progress.  And YES, as always I am looking for ways to work more nutritious, whole foods into our family’s daily diet. I think we do a fairly decent job of steering clear of the prepackaged crud for the most part, even though we splurge on “junk” from time to time on special occasions.  (Balance y’all!)  But my grocery list is pretty darn clean in general so my goal this winter has been less about the nutritional aspect of our menu & more about my desire to get a handle on the amount of money I’m spending at the market each month.  Feeding our growing family happens best right here at home. I can literally count on one hand how many times we’ve ventured out to eat at a restaurant over the past 4 months.  No.  It’s not because I’m uber controlling in regard to how my family members fuel their bods.  Okay, so it’s a little bit about that, but mostly it’s just because I’m cheap.  There. I admit it.  I don’t like forking over $50 or more feeding my family one meal, which I spend trying to force my toddler to eat & to stay in his chair & to stop chewing on his napkin.  Fun? NO. We’re total barbarians & seldom go in public these days. I accept this. The fact that it’s cheaper to prepare food at home from scratch cannot be debated.  More importantly, when we are eating at home we typically sit down at the table & argue & yell at each other & sometimes throw things because we’re obnoxious.  We laugh at each other & we talk about things that happened at school & bitch about things that are happening in the world & pretty much engage in what most families do when they dine together.  At least I think we do.  We might not be doing it right.  I really don’t know.  Regardless, eating at home seems to be a good thing for a number of reasons. (Even though the toddler might end up sitting on the table, we may or may not end up having belching contests and/or discuss completely inappropriate social or cultural issues like circumcision… Yes. All of these things have & do happen from time to time.)
ANYWAY, back to the heavenly mayo discovery! I unearthed this homemade mayonnaise “secret” today & my life is forever changed.  I feel like I’ve been born again!  Each month I make about 3 vats of chicken salad.  The kids love it, my hunk loves it & visiting friends love it.  So it’s easy to make, I’ve done it for years & keeping it stocked in our fridge for at least half of the month serves us well.  After school snack = DONE.  After work snack = DONE.  Afternoon munchies with impromptu visiting friend = DONE.  You get my vibe here.  So anyway – I started wondering, “how can I make this meal on the cheap?” I mean, we’re talking about chicken breasts, spices, grapes, celery, mayo.  Obviously organic chicken breast is not cheap.  Hence one of the reasons we’re striving to grow our own meat birds at present. The rest of the stuff, pretty daggon’ affordable.  So the only other option was to focus on the mayonnaise to cut a little extra cost. I started researching recipes.  (Thank you pinterest & modern technology in general as my homemade mayo-making friends clearly aren’t dependable in terms of divulging recipes freely… You know who you are.)
Immediately I felt like a moron.  First of all, I’ve made homemade aioli countless times.  Little did I know, this is essentially the same recipe with a few tiny change-ups… DUH! Guess we learn something new err’darn day! Sooo… Because I don’t withhold wonderful, life-changing information, I’m going to share the awesomeness with all of you! You’re welcome! Enjoy saving money & congrats on tasting the creamiest, most delicious mayo-nayo-naaaaise on God’s green earth.
*SIDE NOTE – Do NOT even dare to email me, text me or inbox about the raw eggs in this recipe.  If you do, I’ll probably scream at you… And by scream at you, I mean I’ll most likely respond with ALL CAPS.  You know you eat the homemade cookie dough batter.  It contains raw egg. ‘Nuff said.
YOU WILL NEED… (Yes I’m screaming, but only because I’m super excited!)
*NOTE – That is my Granny’s old handheld crank mixer… I didn’t use it today. But LOOK HOW AWESOME!!!
– 1 large organic egg – room temperature.  (If you want to make this right this very instant & your egg is coldy, cold, cold then just place it in warm water from the tap for about 5 mins before proceeding with the recipe.)
– ½ TBSP apple cider vinegar or white wine vinegar (I use Braggs ACV just because it was sent to earth as a gift from God above)
– 1 TBSP fresh squeezed lemon juice. No substitute for fresh. The end.
– 1 tsp. salt
– ½ tsp. pepper
– 1 cup extra virgin olive oil
(Keep in mind… I doubled this recipe.  However, I maintained the tsp of salt… Salt goes a long way.)
DIRECTIONS:
  1. Combine your egg, lemon juice, vinegar, S & P either in a Mason jar, blender or food processor… (You will use the Mason jar if you are planning to use a handheld emulsifier.  Also, the Mason jar is perfect for storage.)  Blend & blend until well combined. It’s fun, right?
  2.  Slowly add the olive oil… Blend until it’s nice & thick & creamy & rich.  Oh yeaaaah!
  3. Dip your finger in that concoction of magic smush & have a lick or two! Yes. You did that!  How darn easy was that? And cheap!
    *ABOVE: I added a little organic curry powder to flavor about half of the mayo I made today… TALK ABOUT DELISH! So today I made plain & curry flavored mayo for the first time! OH, it’s the little things in life 😉
  4. Seal up in a Mason jar or glass container of some sort & place in the fridge. Use within a week or so!

    I know, I know… We’re friends forever now, right?  So put it on EVERYTHING.  Also, don’t be afraid to add any & every kind of “extra” spice you wish to zest-up this basic recipe… Add curry powder or Creole seasoning or chipotle seasoning, or whatever your spice-lovin’ heart desires! Then use it for a dip or a topping on your falafel or your sandwich… One time in college my hunk & I ate some bad falafel. We puked for 24 hours & almost died. That’s a different story. But if you like falafel… This would work as a topping. Enjoy, YO!

    Love & stuff –
    Kristin


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