Change is Good. Change is Exhausting.

 

SMLXL

 

Dear folks & friends & family & all….

Oh what a week for my hunk to acquire the funk! Apparently he started feeling the ick coming on slowly while friends & family helped us paint out at the house over the weekend.  Josh never said a word. He just kept plugging away, doing what needed to be done. Here we are, midweek & my poor dude is crashed out with body aches, pains, fever, chills & zero energy. This moving, renovation, raising a family & full-time job gig is not for the weak, that’s for sure! We’ve been on the go, go, go basically nonstop since August. From the very moment we decided to officially begin this journey & list our Norfolk home, it has been one project after another. We tackled the necessary preparations – painting & repairing, cleaning up & cleaning out, simplifying our space & getting the place “show worthy” in less than a month. I made quite the dent in most of that while Josh worked each day, but every ounce of his downtime in the evenings & weekends was spent working around the outside of the house in an effort to make it shine just a little brighter than the other 5 houses for sale on our same block. Clearly it paid off, as we sold the house immediately! Yes, we were overjoyed…. And (already) very tired. But that’s when the real work began. Immediately we started packing up, searching for a rental, moving out & unpacking only the bare essentials, leaving the rest of our lives tucked away to this day in boxes out back in the garage.  All of this while trying to stay abreast of the new homes coming on the market in our price-point each day.  We’ve been invested in this vision – this dream of ours – on every level for months & months & months.  All of the house shopping we’ve been doing has monopolized every weekend, coupled with running kids to & from soccer practices & school functions & homework, trying to keep the cabinets stocked & prepare healthy meals & make time to eat together as a family at least once per day, traveling to Ohio for holidays, etc. etc etc.  Our family’s energy level is simply beginning to plummet.  I think Josh might have just run out of steam. After all, he is carrying the brute of all the physical wear & tear, juggling a company workload at the same time. I keep rallying the troops & telling everyone “we’re almost at the finish line!” At this moment, as I’m sitting here scribbling away in my crux catcher, dumping my brain onto the page, I’m realizing we are in a completely different headspace than we were even two weeks ago. It’s an emotional rollercoaster for all of us – fun, scary, exciting, tiring, euphoric, uncertain. The adjectives could go on for pages & pages. We are packing up yet again, we’re prayerfully penny pinching, watching the renovations wrapping up, listening & learning from contractors, making tough decisions about where to spend money & where to start saving for future projects.  We’re shopping for the necessities – comparing energy ratings on appliances, water heaters, etc. Making regular visits to the Habitat for Humanity General Store & scanning Craig’s List on the regular as to not miss the latest local “steals & deals” on everything from quality lighting fixtures & bathroom sinks to outdoor pizza ovens & chicken coops. We’re sometimes spent by 5pm, but we must press on. We must maintain a calm & joyful home-life in the midst of all of this. Hence, the boxes of wine. Our kids need the stability of togetherness, even if they don’t realize it. Our evenings at home – which usually don’t begin until 8:30pm – are so often filled with sleep talk as we’re all so pooped out. The new house is about an hour drive each way. We love to go out & catch the sunsets, see the renovation progress & dream big in our new space. But it seems we are always on the road these days. My whiny point is that we’re all spread thin. Josh is REALLY spread thin. After all, he’s maintaining his workload at the office & a harsh Winter of extended days & nights plowing snow & salting sidewalks has left him sleep deprived for days & days & days. He might sleep like a bear in hibernation for a month after we get into our new home. He handles his regular work regimen like a champ, in addition to all of these other daily demands. He’s perpetually in the “show must go on” mode & he does it without one complaint. We are blessed with the hardest working, devoted husband, father, friend that a family could ever ask for. I’m so proud of him. I’m so grateful for him. His dedication to us, & the way he pushes forward, never complaining about his responsibilities – doing it all with a joyful heart. Everything he does is in an effort to improve our lives as a family in some way. Our combined vision for this life, is driving us like nothing else I’ve ever experienced. DEVOTED. Josh & I work hard together. We work well together. We finish one another’s sentences & sometimes thoughts & I swear there has been a time or two when we daydreamed the same vision into existence without ever sharing it with one another aloud. I believe we are a phenomenon of the most magical sort. Our love & commitment make things happen. Unfortunately, our love & commitment to this family can be a little overzealous, leaving us both feeling depleted & over worked, exhausted & in desperate need of recharge. This flu bug or whatever it is that has taken up residence in my hunk’s sleepy bod has been a long time coming. I will take care of my precious husband with a grateful heart. I know he would (and has) done the same for me on countless occasions in this life – quite possibly in many other lifetimes as well. Rest. This family needs rest, calm, breath & quiet. But mainly just REST.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s